"The mansion is warm at the top of the hill
Rich are the rooms and the comforts there...
And you won't know a thing till you get inside."
THE CELEBRATION OF THE LIZARD,
James Douglas Morrison"The things that dwell there...exist only to teach.
The terror of man is their nourishment and their
excrement is higher wisdom.
The dung of these things may only be consumed when...."
AL AZIF, Abdul Alhazred
"Shit. Excrement. Poop.," pronounced Dr. Koh Rei-am of Jejudo, "Koreans have this fixation with the stuff, especially when it comes as pretenatural heralding; financial good fortune. There are three tiers: Pigs, Dragons and, most potent, Dung. If one dreams of it, that is liken to a 'sure thing', thus,, upon awakening, don't waste time, immediately, do something like procuring a lottery ticket."
Dr. T, Cuchulain Jones, an eminent Eire-born "Enviromental Anthropologist", currently researching Pacific islands' cultures/civilizations, replied, "I noticed Korea is the only place selling ceramic replicas of piled poop, resembling 'Frosty Freeze' swirls, as regular tourist items such as brownish paperweights. This attachment exceeds the Japanese's obsession with the eros of scatology."
Lady Jones with her lustrous dark mane and muscular trim 6' frame was at ease in her luxuriant chair as she spoke, "This fertility affinity was not uncommon in the past. In Nordic societies, it was believed that those in need of masculine odentification could rub excrement on their lips and jaws vicinity, worn continuously, stimulated lush hair growth...a typical height of derision to a young man was calling him 'dung-beard'." A balding, "hairless" Asiatic/Islander facial visage Koh smirked at this bit of knowledge, then, the slender 5'3" quantum mechanic of some distinction and preeminent "Amateur" folklorist, added his verbalage...
"The ancient Egyptians' sacred Scarab is a sanctificed dung beetle. She uses her hindquarters to roll evermore the solar 'dung-orb' across the sky after goddess Nut deposits it (what lower orifice She uses isn't clear). Nut swallows said object at gloaming and passes it through Her astral body. Early Egyptians-to-be observed verity's beetle pushing an evergrowing ball of varied living bodies' 'solid' wastes throughout the eternal desert until 'miraculously' it became a teeming sphere of exiting new life." The scholarly twain with great panache hefted their goblets, filled with famed Jeju honey-based imbibement, that were of exemplarily crafted, polished coprotites.
"I don't think people actually realize how bees produce honey,"
Dr. Jones thought aloud. Dr. Koh's nonce vacuous eye sockets and supple eyes within "shown" in the vaporous illuminanted dinning area. Jones explained, "Honey mead became the drink of choice of Northern European newlyweds, hence, giving rise to the expression 'honeymooners'." The East European rock band "Zhar"'s (now "Kadath") music arterialishly pumped the surrounding now seeming nutritive membrane walls. The Tcho-Koreana male's sotto voce laugh vibrated into the rhythmic atmosphere underlying the whole atmosphere. He softly sank in his plush crushed scarlet velvet covered chair while visions of folk "mooning" others with the anal part of their anatomy danced in his head.
"According to you Dr. Koh," the eurdite Celtic lineage female mentioned, "'Al Azif' could be translated as 'The Drone of Beetles'." Koh languorously responded, "Possible. Its exudations extol the insect, for instance, 'The wisest of these creatures is the black beetle that lives on the dung of others' 1 ". The fane's conGRUEnce had a black gneiss fitted enclosure that, without/within the dimmed dinning section, was veriably detailed agGLUTination palimpsest of ossified non-sea expunging tentacles and fossilized spore in mid-growth copulating with Zhar and Lloigor in outrageous outre feasting postures with other numerous species, all elegantly haloed in brownish leather tan by art gallery spotlights.
Dreamily, the Irish Lady's attention was drawn to the luminesque sea creature holding tank in the central part of the ornate digestion section of the knowledge bearing sanctum, located, near seamlessly, inside the primeval woods about Paeknokdam crater. In that fanciful aqua-marine plexiglass container, gurgling liquid of life, adolescent tentacled beings strove to free themselves. They hung phallically with only their arrowheadish rears pierching the water's semen white foaming surface...up and down, down and up, some increasing in velocity. She drew nearer, gazing earnestly, meditating on the scene, licentiously anticipating, "I wonder what squid poop looks like?"
"These body fluids, this defilement, this shit are
what life withstands...on the part of death...Such
wastes drop so I might live, until, from loss to
loss, nothing remains in me and my entire body
falls beyond the limit - 'cadere' ("to fall"),
'cadaver'. If dung signifies the other side...the
corpse, the most sickening of wastes, is a border
that has encroached upon everything." -POWERS OF HORROR,
Julia Kristeva
"According to Alhazred's codex"..."I prefer HR GIger's NECRONOMICON myself," Koh said with a mirthful leer...Dr. Jones cited text, "'Dead food is better than food that is living' 2 "...Rei-mi's congenial reply, "Our GUMI-GAN-OK CHAEK states, 'That which is swallowed living, comes back to lead; and that which is swallowed dead comes back to serve.' Some of my ancestors were called 'cannibals'. Actually, we are 'omnivores' who have no compunctions including Homo sapiens on our edible things menu." "Of course, fresh cadavers...or are you saying the Living as well?!", managed the gaping in awe anthropologist. Here Anne demonstrated her compulsion of delivering examples of her well earned reputation for relishing puns, "What's a poor ghoul to do?"
"Dr. Jones...," Dr. Koh's tender tenor tone leisurely brought her Ladyship back to here and now awareness and she preceived herself no longer within the fane's repast room. The unqurstioned Jejudo beauty, "A volcanic created vernal isle with a myriad of oddly shaped, mystifying stones and abundantly lavished foliage", is a global alluring paradise for honeymooners. The land mass has been dubbed, among other names, "The Island of the Gods." The manse where the Ph.D duo stayed was nicknamed "Zhar's Inn Sane" because it is a virtual sanctuary from a crazed world of a mostly dreamless populace. The opulent chamber Jones found herself was totally of deftly hand-crafted Ginko tree wood. This fabled wood is known in "Korean" folklore for its magical properties of allowing people sleeping on a bed constructed with the organic material to be capable of communing (whether they want to or not) with spirits, "ghosts", and things from the Other Side.
"Why are all of my clothes sopping wet and laid upon the floor?", noted Dr. Jones raising her firm, taunt, faitly masculinely strong, bare form upright on her Ginko wood bed. Because of years of living amongst numerous cultures within the Pacific expanse, she had grown accustomed to being casually nude among near strangers. Dr. Koh was a nudist. "You became an adytum of group anthropophazy, twisted so, when you decided to play bobbing for squids' behinds...with a simulairum of raw vitality, you dear doctor, rapaciously dunked your head into the creatures' holding tank, ravishingly sank your probing promiscuous teeth adz-like into their rears, ripped them out of their watery environs, ravaged their entrails, gorged your shearing tongue into rapid irising sphinciers expanding till torn outrageously open, sucked voraciously as you squeezed them like full toothpaste tubes...in this vituperative, repeating, raping, virile violating process...your garments got a bit wet. This floor has an ondol system ("Korean traditional system that heats a living space via an intricate intestinal design under the floor"), hence, ideal for drying your artifical skin."
The bodies of tangible substance adopted by the
Old Ones cannot be called their true forms, which
are so monsterous and uncouth that the mind of
of man cannot hold them without madness, yet in
their shapes they express in matter and on a
level that can be fathomed by thoughts...but
these bodies are little more than suits of
clothing. -AL AZIF
Rei-mi consumed her beverage, her left hand lowering the teacup onto their table...her right index fingernail came forth as a feline claw, but long, slender and deadly sharp as a well honed stiletto blade (a congenital trait from the Tcho part of the family tree). Thus, she commenced to slice, impale her dripping corpulent snack of stuffed, fresh and raw slaughtered swine's innards. The pieces were plopped with finess and divine aplomb into Koh's opened oral orifice and waiting maw.
The duo were seated in the streetside patio of the ever pristine white STARLITE cafe; amazing as Seoul-si, Itaewon-dong's seemingly perpetual "smog" had a corrupting effect on even the most recently erected edifices surrounding the venue. Pondering Foxx's thoughts finally became aural, "He's truly yours, your identical twin, as one...your mystically un-nerving eyes, exact...swirling scatalogical hues whose vortex blooms like the Black Lotus from mire." "I directed Dr. Jones to see my brother on Jeju isle...he's the real 'antiquarian' of our people."
"This is for you Dr. Koh. I realize Jeju has the only chocolate museum in Asia ("The best quality chocolate here") - Rei-am recalled delicious childhood memories, a distant relative who was once served on its Board of Directors and his brother-in-law that owned a chocolate factory, whose most popular confectionery was based on an "old family secret receipe" - but, this top level gourmet dark chocolate from a world reknown epicurean center, San Francisco, was created there by 'TCHO', a rising star in the candy cosmos." She respectfully, palms up, gave her gift to Koh. He, in reciprocity, properly passed to her an exquistely carved, expensively shellaced in mauve, fossilized spoor container chock full of newly harvested ginko nuts.
He resumed his hunkered down position as Koreans rarely sit on their bottoms, perfering squating on their haunches. This eons old habit presents why "Koreans'" time honored traditional toilets were merely holes in the ground, modernized now into mazy tunnels of pipes underground with a ceramic cradle top design on the surface. American made seat toilets are quickly replacing the Asian structures in public "restrooms" and private abodes. In the former, it is still common to find "How To Use" instructions for both. Jejuites had a markedly different mode of "dotongi" ("Traditional toilets"); "Pigs were raised in and around the toilets, where they happily fed, and natural fertilizer was their manure."
Returning from discreetly, yet unbothered, using a provided sterling silver European commode bowl in a boar's empty cranium with a clearly cut off top, finely polished , aged ivory tusks for handles and lolling lusty tongue for a footrest, the comely Irish environmental field scientist/scholar spoke again, "Always gracious, Ms. Koh was extremely efficient, with her beyond reproach respected stature and influences, procuring interviews with various related-to-the-subject matter and unlimited access to EWHA WOMEN'S UNIVERSITY' unique stone statue garden, not to mention, its executive curator for me. Sadly, expected, the stoneworks' previous owners and original sculptors are 'unknown'...
Astoundingly, I found a head there." Dr. Koh ceased merrily masticating his chocolate bar and Dr. Jones continued, "It was an ossified pus-like coloration lichen covered bowling ball sized and shaped rock sculpture. With the aid of your sister's wonderous index fingernails, we chisled it somewhat clean and I knew it to be of Rapa Nui's fertility god, 'Ma-ke Ma-ke'. Exactly like the one still on that isle. The only other known sculpture of Him is slightly larger and residing, at the moment, in the British Museum." Rei-am bore a childish smile when he said, "Make Make, an appropriate name for a sexual reproduction deity."
"DOCTOR Koh, in Romanized English letters and spelling, the break comes between the 'a' and the 'k' with the accent on the 'e'! Nevertheless, the native islanders are, shall we say, 'F...king pissed-off' and still demanding England to immediately return Rapa Nui's sacred stone image. There is no love lost 'tween me and the Brit authorities. The island's ruling country today, Chile, treats the inhabitants/isle just as historically 'Korea' tends to your homeland, basically, they ignore you (So your sister informed me)." "I concur with National Assembly Rep. Koh Rei-mi."
"I seek knowledge not ignorance. There are possible links of Pacific island cultures to such now sunken continents as 'Zealander' and 'Lemuria'. Maverick archaeologist David Hatcher Childress in his book, LOST CITIES OF ANCIENT LEMURIA AND THE PACIFIC, makes some conceivably believable conjectures." A sneering Rei-am, "Ocean bodies retaining arcane knowledge, releasing it...picture these created land formations with their volcanic peaks as puckered anal sphinciers spewing out lava fluids as molten excrements, solar-like essences, from the very depths, bowels of the earth." Dr. Jones plainly gave him a cold, incredulous stare.
Dr. Koh vociferated, "'Researchers' continually contend that it is a credible scenario that the stark contrasts of mainland 'Korea's' and Jejudo's variant societies lie in the conception that the latter is a derivative of Oceania...placing Tamnaguk (Jejudo) as a boundary edge and Rapa Nui (Easter Island) as the other, sometimes the Hawaiian Islands. Seems, no one cares about the Tamnaites' own creation mythos, which has nothing to do with the Pacific Ocean...
Three male demi-gods (Koh Eulla, Yang Eulla, Bu Eulla) dressed in leather emerged from a particular concave 'hole' in the island (You can visit the site at Samseonghyeol) and led the 'hunter/gatherers' personages on the surface. Somewhere among the plateaus of Central Asia came a group (the Tcho Tcho people who branched off from those desiring Southeast Asia) through mountainous Southwest Asia, through the now called Korean penisula, to the island. They were led by a female shaman-chieftain (legendary Grand Queen Zee Rei), who brought all the elements required for starting a 'civilzation' ("From this time forward, they farmed...grains and raised cattle. Through the abundant crops, they founded the Tamna State"). They shared 'carnal knowledge', eventually siring one ethnic 'race'. During this period, for approximately a thousand years, the island et. al. remained 'undiscovered' by the mainlanders ("It is commonly accepted that these people are not the ancestors of the Korean people of today." 3)."
"What of the Ma-ke Ma-ke stone effigy here?" Koh, thoughtfully, "I don't know...While staying on Rapa Nui, I learned of a literally ages old pracitice there: If someone suffered constant 'nightmares' during his/her life, upon death here, before burial, they would scalp the individual to the very skull, pull the semi-flacid skin back, clean off moist blood, scrape morsels of clingy tissue. Then, proceed to tattoo the forehead bone area with potent symbols. Henceforth, said person would no more suffer 'bad dreams', in their afterlife. According to our Gumi-Gan-Ok Chaek, some of those 'symbols' could pertain to Zhar. Care for some chocolate?"
"Rather I would believe in a god that sleepth
than the travails of the world
should be the will of a waking providence."
-LIBER IVONIS,
Grand Mage Eibon
"Anon, I must egress" ("I always wanted to say that," thought a somnotent Rei-am). Sough were Koh's last words to Jones, "Sweet dreams".
"Nocturnal emissions, mental masturbation," Jones' slumberous thoughts wandered, wondered, warped and wobbled, as she placed herself, Being of flesh and mind, in repose on her mildly undulating Oriental mahogany tainted sheet of silk, the mattress filled of amneotic fluids housed by a Ginko wood frame, "As to sacrifice, it contitutes the alliance with the One...Excrement and its equivalents (decay...corpse, etc." 5 ... such wastes...from loss to loss, nothing remains in me."
"Odic?", recommenced the Lady's fading mindset, "Dr. Koh recountered once to me the realities of the Old Ones, 'Lloigor's peculiarity is striding actual winds, while Zhar stalks the atmosperic airs of inner sanctums'." "The body of (Zhar) can be...merely asleep (though buried alive under the Isle of Stars)...made tangible by the accretion of matter...flesh lies inert...comparable to...a corpse."6 The Eire personage felt her room idolatrous scented candles' light slowly wane, they weren't extinquished, but fires softly warm once caressing her skin seemed gradually withdrawn...
Experto crede. With a morphean thanatoid mind shroud temporarily removed and a simple yawn, Dr. T. Cuchlain Jones sensed an insidious internal slithering, incisional stalking an already selvage stripped brain, singingly mordant into her synaptic nervous system...splitting, spitting pain awareness...fastidious flatuational, flaying huffing orifices aptly able to disembowel and dismember...madness of the soul, merciful release...entrance...a meretricious merge.
Outside; flush of dawn, diarhean chrysanthemum orange, crimson and dun colors glowing across the Eastern horizon. Dr. Koh made his descent down the treacherous Gwaneumsa trek route of Mt. Halla. He wanted to be there to greet his sister's return via "Jeju Air".
Inside; within Dr. Jones' sleeproom, all that remained of herself was her "birthday suit", surgicalishly sliced bodily whole flesh, "the most sickening of wastes", the god's feces.
-end-
1 NECRONOMICON, trans. Donald Tyson (2005) p.5
2 Ibid.
3 KOREAN OVERSEAS INFORMATION SERVICE, "History: Korea, Its History & Culture", (1994) p.7
4 THE AMERICAN NIGHT, "The Celebration of the Lizard", James Douglas Morrison, (1991) p.43
5 POWERS OF HORROR, "An Essay on Abjection", Julia Kristeva,
(1982) p.71
6 Necronomicon, Ibid. p.215
All Jeju/Korean locations et. al. do exist. All quotes concerning the island are from official Korean government tour guide training manuals/Jejudo born long term family residents. The characters/incidents in this narrative are solely of the author's imagination. The information/practices presented within, however, are "factual" concerning other cultures' historical practices/beliefs.